


A new beginning

by Mierke



Category: Nashville (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6561241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mierke/pseuds/Mierke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Juliette and Avery's first date after Juliette gets out of the post-partum clinic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A new beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stelladelnordxd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stelladelnordxd/gifts).



> I haven't seen any of the post-hiatus episodes yet, so this story veers from 4.10 (We've Got Nothing But Love to Prove).

Juliette was nervous. More nervous than she'd ever been in her life, probably. She had never been one to get stage fright, and in most of her other decisions she'd been too impulsive to feel the jitters that came with anticipation. 

Today was different, though. She looked in the mirror and smoothed down her dress, critically eyeing her outfit as if seeing it for the first time. There had been a time in which it wouldn't have mattered, and Avery would have liked her in anything she wore, but she couldn't be certain about that now. 

"Emily!" she called, happier than she'd ever expected to have her personal assistant back. Of course Emily still spent lots of her time at Avery's, taking care of Cadence, but tonight Juliette had called dibs. She'd needed someone to have her back, and to make sure she didn't chicken out and flee the country instead of go and see her... 

Whatever it was she had the right to call him these days.

"You look amazing," Emily said, and Juliette twirled around. 

"I do?" 

She flinched at the uncertainty in her voice, and had to remind herself that she was allowed to be insecure, that showing vulnerability didn't necessarily mean allowing yourself to get hurt. Emily was one of the people she trusted most in her life, and she would never hurt her. Juliette knew that; it was just so easy to forget.

"You do," Emily said, the conviction in her voice so strong that Juliette started to genuinely smile. 

"Okay," she said, gathering her courage and her purse. 

"Now, remember," Emily said as Juliette stood at the door to leave. "Avery will be a little late, because you've kidnapped his babysitter and he has to wait for her to arrive before he can leave. Don't panic. Don't skip out. You'll be fine, and he'll show, and you'll have an amazing time."

Juliette took a deep breath and tried to take Emily's words to heart. She could do this. 

_I can do this,_ she told herself, as the cab brought her to the restaurant.

 _I can do this,_ she said, as she spotted a lost paparazzi shooting shots of her from behind a bush.

 _I can do this,_ she reminded herself, as the waiter brought her to the table and she told him she couldn't order yet as she was waiting for her date and she could almost read the disbelieving pity in his eyes.

 _I can do this,_ she repeated, over and over again, as she looked out the window and waited for Avery to arrive.

She almost lost her nerve when he finally did arrive; he looked so good and it was so easy to believe that she didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve a second chance, she didn't...

"Hi," Avery said, and he sat down at the table.

"Hi," Juliette replied, forcibly stomping the down the "I gotta go" that threatened to erupt from her throat. 

"A glass of red wine, please," he ordered, and Juliette indicated she wanted one as well. The waiter disappeared, leaving them alone at the table with all the baggage their past relationship had left them with. 

"Honestly," Avery began, "I'd kind of expected you to be gone when I arrived."

"As did I," Juliette said, and she forced herself to look him in the eye.

"You look good," she said, and she cringed a little at the cliché, but it was true. He didn't return the sentiment and Juliette had to stamp down the insecurity that reared its ugly head as the waiter brought their glasses of wine. 

She eyed the red liquid, even more nerves gathering in her stomach. There had been no alcohol at the clinic, and she knew she had to be careful still. Avery, however, immediately reached for his own glass, and for a second she wondered whether he thought he'd need the alcohol to get through an evening with her, but then he raised his glass. 

"To new beginnings," he said, and the lead that had settled in Juliette's stomach turned into butterflies.

"To new beginnings," she echoed, raising her own glass and taking a small sip before putting the glass back on the table. 

"I will do everything in my power to do it right this time," she said as they both took their menus and started to look for something to eat. 

"But..." she hesitated for a moment, her eyes lingering on the page with vegetarian options as she tried to figure out the right way to phrase what she wanted, no, needed, to say. Avery didn't look at her, his attention seemingly as fixated on his menu as her own. She was thankful for the respite, for the space he was giving her. 

"I'm not perfect," she eventually said, putting down her menu to be able to convey with full clarity what she was trying to say. "I will mess up. I will want to run away. Happiness is... It's a scary concept. I'm always waiting for something to go wrong."

Avery had put down his own menu now, and reached his hand out to cover hers. 

"I'm not asking you to be perfect," he said, his voice soft. "I'm asking you to let me be there. When you mess up, let me help. When you run away, let me come with you."

The waiter came round and they ordered, providing some surreality to the intense conversation they were having.

"I never stopped loving you," Avery whispered, voice so low that Juliette had to strain to hear him. "And I do believe you never stopped loving me. But there need to be two people in this relationship, and I think somewhere along the line, we both lost sight of that."

"I am all in," Juliette said, stressing every word to make sure Avery understood her meaning. Her thumb traced over the palm of his hand, the one that he still hadn't retreated and was giving her hope. 

"I...," this time it was Avery who hesitated, and Juliette resisted the urge to spur him on. She needed to give him space more than she needed to know what he was thinking.

"I don't trust you," he said, and Juliette felt her heart stop, pain coursing through her as if he had somehow injected small pain particles in her blood. She struggled to breathe, missing Avery's next words because she was so focussed on the in and out of her oxygen flow, on preventing the full blown panic attack that was threatening to rise to the surface and she reached for her glass of wine, alcohol limit be damned and... 

"Juliette," he said sharply, though not unkindly; his hand rested on her right, the one that was bringing her glass to her lips. Her eyes snapped open, and she wanted to push him away but something in the way he looked at her made her freeze.

"I said _yet_ ," he stated, as if he could tell she had missed part of his sentence. "I wouldn't be here if I thought there was no chance at all for us to be whole again. But we're not there yet, and I need you to know that."

Juliette nodded, her breath returning to a normal pace and her glass returning to the table.

"I do," she said. "And I will proof to you, every single day, that this? This is it for me."

"There will always be distractions," Avery said, retreating his hands. "Music. And fans. And-"

"I know!" Juliette hurried to say. "I'm not saying you're everything to me. I don't think any one person ever could be. I'm saying this is _it_ for me. This is what I want. You and I? This is what makes my life worth living."

"What about your daughter?" Avery said, after a moment's hesitation, as if afraid of her answer. 

She didn't immediately respond; she knew he expected her to, she knew what the appropriate answer would be, the right answer, but she wasn't sure she could give it yet. This could be the pivotal point in this conversation, and part of her longed for the easy lie. But she was better than that these days; even more, Avery knew her better than that, and would immediately be able to tell that she was sprouting nonsense and then it would be over.

"I love Cadence," she said eventually. "I desperately want to be a part of her life."

"But she doesn't make your life worth living?" Avery asked, his voice edging on the angry side of disbelief. 

"Please don't be mad," she begged, trying to explain. "Ever since she was born, I have felt... Disconnected. This tiny person relied so much on me, and I just knew I couldn't give it to her. Right now, while I do want to see my daughter and bond with her, I'm still terrified that I won't be able to. Even though I know I was sick, a part of me is still worried that there is something inherently wrong with me to prevent me from being a _mother_. That I will never be able to look at her the way you do."

The waiter came with their plates, and immediately withdrew again, as if he could feel the tension in the air.

"You said you don't trust me yet," she said before taking her first bite. "The truth is, neither do I."

Silence descended on their table, and Juliette tried to enjoy the food she was eating (though she wouldn't be able to tell what it was, or even what it tasted like; the act of eating was more a distraction than anything else). 

"I think," Avery eventually said, and Juliette looked away from her plate and into his eyes. "That is the most honest thing you have ever said to me."

He smiled, and Juliette felt an intense joy overtaking her body; as long as he would look at her like that, she could believe that they truly would be okay in the end. 

They spent the rest of their meal in relative silence. Avery talked a little about his work, Juliette talked a little about a song she was working on, but they skirted the bigger issues for the time being. It was comfortable, in a way she had never thought they could be again. 

As they took their coats, and walked out of the restaurant, the two of them hesitated on the steps leading out the door. 

"Give Cadence a kiss for me," she said. 

Avery leaned forward, and Juliette had to keep her knees from buckling as so very slowly their lips met in a kiss. 

"Need one to give her, first," he smirked, and Juliette felt lighter than she had all evening. This truly was a new beginning, and he was giving her a chance to make things right.

"Thank you," she said, and she gave his hand one final squeeze before turning around to start on her way home.

"Juliette?" he almost-shouted just before she left the street he was still standing on, and she turned around. 

"Thank you," he said, his voice so open and sincere it almost hurt.

"Be sure to send Emily back!" she replied, covering the flood of emotions that were threatening to overtake her, and it was with his laughter in her ears that she finally did round the corner.


End file.
